Whenever I feel depressed or sad I watch this and I think differently. I hope lexi doesn’t mind that I use this on my page. Everyone is beautiful, no matter your race, sexual orientation religion what have you, you’re all beautiful. & if someone tries to bring you down their showing you how jealous of you they really are. never let someone make you feel worst of yourself cause your perfect, we’re all perfect cause we have flaws, the flaws we have make us perfect, perfectly flawed. if you ever need advice I’m here for you.
if you need advice or ANYTHING advice related im here
# Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
# Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
# LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
# Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
# Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
# Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
# Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
# Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
# Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
# Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Don’t ever say no one cares
(written by rawritsrebecca)
You’re sitting in your room ~ door locked ~ with a pen in your hand and a blank piece of paper infront of you. Your hand is shaking, and the tears begin again - for the third time in the past hour. ‘To my family’ you write at the top of the page, but decide it’s a bad way to begin your letter ~ your suicide letter. You try again, start over ~ again and again, but you don’t know where to begin. No one understands you; no one knows what you’re going through, you’re alone or at least that’s what you think. Nobody would care if you’re alive or not, you mean nothing to nobody. It’s night, and you slip into bed. ’Goodbye’ you whisper into the darkness. And with that, you take your last breathe and end it all. No body cares, right?
Well you thought wrong. It’s a Tuesday the following morning, and when it’s 7:21, your mother comes and knocks on your door. She doesn’t know you can’t hear her she doesn’t know you’regone. She knocks a few more times, calling your name to open up. When there is no reply from your side of the door, she opens it and screams. She collapses on the ground while your dad rushes to your room. Your siblings have already left for school. Your very weak mother collects all the energy she’s got which is close to nothing to walk over to your bed. She leans over your dead body, crying, squeezing your hand, screaming. Your dad is trying to stay strong, but the tears escape his eyes; calling 000 or 911 with his left hand while his other one is on your mother’s back. Your mother blames herself. All those times she had said ‘no’ to you, all those times she had screamed at you, and sent you to your room over something stupid. Your father will blame himself for not being there for you when you asked for help, for being away from home at work for long. Nobody cares, right?
8:34. There’s a knock on your classroom door it’s the school principle. She looks more worried than ever. She calls the teacher to the side; all the students worried: what’s going on? The principle then later announces about your suicide. The popular girl that always called you fat and ugly is now blaming herself. The kid that would always copy your homework but treat you like crap ~ he’s blaming himself. The boy that sits behind you ~ the one that always threw things at you during class ~ he’s blaming himself too. The teacher is blaming herself - for all those times she’d scream at you for forgetting your homework, or not listening in class. People are crying, screaming, shocked, in regret of what they did. They’ll all be devastated - even the kids you’ve never talked to before. Still nobody cares about you, right?
Your siblings get home. Your mother has to tell them that you’re gone; forever. Your little sister ~ no matter how many times she’s screamed at you, told you she hated you and stole your stuff ~ always loved you, and saw you as her hero; her role model. She now starts to blame herself; why didn’t I do what she told me to do when she told me to? Why did I take her stuff even when she asked me not to? This is all my fault. Your brother gets home ~ the boy that never cries. He’s now in his room; mad at himself ~ he caused your death. All those times he’d played pranks on you. He’s punching holes in his wall, turning over things; he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that you’re gone. Forever. Nobody cares about you, right? Right?
It has been over a month. The door to your room has been closed all this time. Everything is different now. Your brother has to be sent to anger management classes, your little sister cries everyday still waiting for you to come back. Everyday she waits for you to come back home. The popular girls have now turned anorexic. They don’t know how to deal with the pain that they’re feeling. Your father has depression; your mother hasn’t slept for nights it’s all her fault. She’s been crying and screaming every night wishing for you to come back. The boy who would always bother you dropped out of school. The boy that copied your homework now cuts. But nobody cares about you, aren’t I right?
Your mother finally decides to go clean out your room. But she can’t do it. She’s locked herself in your room for two days to try to clean up your clothes, your things. But she can’t she can’t say goodbye to you, not yet, not now. Never. It’s your funeral. It’s a big one ~ everybody comes. No one knows what to say. The beautiful girl with the big smile is gone; you’re somewhere else. No one knows what to say, they’re all still shocked. Everyone cries, everyone misses you. They all wish you’d come back but you don’t, and you won’t.
Still think nobody cares about you? Think again. Even if people don’t show it, they care about you, they love you. If you kill yourself today or any other day you won’t know just how much you meant to people. If you kill yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know you for the rest of their life. Suicide is the easy way out - but it’s the wrong choice. Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups and downs everyone has their bad days. Sometimes people go through tough times in their lives like you’re probably going through now but bad times come and go. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there. No matter how hard life gets, never give up on yourself, or on your life.
Take a minute now, and think.
If you killed yourself ~ how would the people that love you feel/go through? Can’t think of anything? Well I’ll tell you: tears, tears, and more tears. Devastation. Guilt. Pain. Broken. Regret. Miserable. If after reading this you still feel suicidal, there are people that can help you.
There are teachers, parents, grandparents, neighbors, adults, councilors ~ they’re all there for you whenever you need them.
It’s like that crippling numbness when you know you could do it at any moment. Who would notice, right? It’ll only take a few seconds. Just a few, and then you’re free. No more pain, no more worrying about the next name that gets thrown your way, the next time you weigh in, the next bite you take, the next cut, the next burn, the next mark on your already flawed skin… Right? Wrong. Your pain might be over, but the people around you? It’s just beginning. Your mother, father, brother, sister, roommate… They called your name, but you didn’t answer, so they went to check in case you didn’t hear them. They see you on the floor laying cold, a bottle of pills next to you, slashed wrists, or maybe you’re hanging from the ceiling. They cry, they scream, they curse at whatever being is there. Was it their fault? If not, whose fault was it? Maybe they were too hard on you, maybe they shouldn’t have poked at an insecurity, maybe if they had just watched that movie or gone for that walk, you’d still be here. They run to your body, they try to wake you up. Maybe you’re just asleep, maybe just passed out, maybe you’re faking to scare them as a sick prank. They try to shake you awake, they slap you, they scream at you to open your eyes and drop the act. They run for the phone to call for an ambulance but they already know you’re gone. They felt how cold you were. Word gets around the neighborhood that you’re dead. The neighbors wonder if it’s anything they might have done. They think of every single time they talked to you, they think of every time they might have looked at you weird by accident. They morn that you’re gone, they don’t know if it’s them, they don’t know if they robbed your family of one of the members held so dear to them. The kids in your school find out. All the kids think of rumors they might have helped to spread, they think of every time they shot down your friendship, they think of every chance they missed that could have saved you. The kids you didn’t think cared are crying at home. That girl you thought hated you is starting to self harm because she feels responsible. Your best friend is at home debating whether to take down the bottle of pills that are shaking in her hands. That kid who has had the biggest crush on you all through school is crying in their room because they didn’t get the chance to tell you that they loved you. Maybe that could have saved you… Knowing someone loved you unconditionally. The girls who spread gossip organize a day of silence in your memory. The jocks who made fun of you are taking a knee at their next game and half of them are keeping their helmets on so nobody sees them cry. They win for you, if only you could have seen it. Your parents, siblings, friends, hell even your enemies, they’re all hurt. They all wonder what they did or could have done. They regret every bad thing said about you. But you aren’t here to know about it. Please don’t take your own life, it’s the most precious thing in the world. You get one chance, if you end it too soon, who knows how much better it could have gotten. Your actions affect EVERYONE who has ever come into contact with you. Don’t take away one of the most important people in the world, nothing would be the same without you. We need you, even if it doesn’t feel like it some times. Just please stay strong. You’ll make it through this. I promise.
Source: http://www.hayw1re.tumblr.com
